:: I am Really Sad ::

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now.  All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left.  Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it.  But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me.  And I don't know what to do.  I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more...

I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything?  Most of the time I feel so awkward, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself.

Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by.  I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait...

:: To my lovely sweet friend ::

Thank you friend, for all the things
That mean so much to me
For concern and understanding
You give abundantly.

Thanks for listening with your heart
For cheering me when I'm blue
For bringing out the best in me
And just for being you.

For all the time you spend
For all the kind things that you do,
For things I can't explain.
Thank you, thank you, thank you jay..

:: I'm Letting You Go ::

It's better this way
I know you'll see
You act like you don't care
So you don't need me

I'm walking away
Before i get hurt
I don't need it again
To be kicked to the dirt

I have problems of my own
But never once did i ignore
When i needed you most
I was shown the door

So i'm following my sense
I'm letting you go
But i loved you very much
Just so you know! 

:: To my dearest friend ::

This is my wish for you: 

Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, 

rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, 

sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, 

beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, 

faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, 

courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, 

Love to complete your life.

I wish all the good things will stay with you
although I know you never think and never care about me
I luv you and will always luv u

:: miss u ::

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. 

Mad because I don't know how you feel. 

Upset because we can't make it right. 

Sad because I need you day and night. 

Angry because you won't take my hand. 

Aggravated because you don't understand. 

Disappointed because we can't be together, 

but still I'll love you forever.

Where have you been?
I miss U..
Now and Forever..

:: Is there any love for me again? ::

Last night, I was with my friends in a cafe. we ended up chatting outside..
I was particularly struck by the conversation of Marv and Karl about losing that sweet, idealistic, romantic look on love.

It was kinda sad to hear those ideas coming from them, but still I eavesdropped. It hit me hard that it does really happen to people. Like practicality and reality would dominate over the painted “image of love”.

It hit me because I feel that I am going through it- that I lost the old “sweet” me.
That I become cold in terms of relationships.
That I find it hard to go out with someone because I’m just lazy to and just not comfortable with the idea anymore.

It frustrates me that I “somewhat” lost that side of me who still feels “kilig”, in its truest sense.
…the side of me that would sacrifice time just to be with that someone…
…the side of me who would do crazy stuff to show my affection…

I don’t know why I despise the stupid things I did for love before.
I just find them corny and plain stupid.
I don’t wanna be an ice king.
I still wanna believe in love but perhaps loving has become too practical for me now.
I just miss being loved.
I hope that’s the real reason.

:: Good Night... ::

I tell you goodnight with tears in my eyes, 

I wish I was there curled up by your side, 

Time passes, But not fast enough, 

I try to be strong. But I'm not that tough, 

When I feel you embrace it will be all right, 

But my heart aches for you on this lonely night..

:: I Miss You.. ::

When I'm not there.. do you think of me? 

When you're sad and something's bothering you.. 

do you wish I were there to help comfort you? 

When you've had a long hard day... 

do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, 

and everything will seem better, 

even if it's just for a moment? 

When you lay down at night... 

do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? 

And when you get up in the morning, 

does everything inside of you smile, 

knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? 

because that's how I think of you...

:: Losing and Loving ::

People always think that
The most painful thing in life
is losing the one you love...
The truth is, the most painful
thing is losing yourself in the
process of loving someone too much
and forgetting that you are
SPECIAL too...

:: The Best Thing About Me is You ::

I’m as happy as I can be
Cause I’m allergic to tragedy
The doctor says something’s wrong with me
The smile on my face has no remedy

So Baby, don’t say no
Come on and just say yes
You know it’s time to keep it simple
Let’s take a chance and hope for the best

Life is short, so make it what you wanna
Make it good, don’t wait until mañana
I think I’m cool cause your name’s on this heart shaped tattoo
Now the best thing about me is you

I cryin’ days are now history
I had a change of philosophy
I take each day as it comes to me
And I won’t take myself all that seriously

So Baby, don’t say no
Come on and just say yes
You know it’s time to keep it simple
Let’s take a chance, and hope for the best

Life is short, so make it what you wanna
Make it good, don’t wait until mañana
I think I’m cool cause your name’s on this heart shaped tattoo

Now, the best thing about me is you.
It’s you
Oh baby, now I see it’s you
(Now the best thing, the best thing)
Oh yes it is
(It’s true)

Take off your shoes, lay back, and take a load off
Give me your blues, let me love it away
Nothing to lose, so don’t act like such a grownup
Stay out all night in the moonlight with me

(Don’t say no; don’t say no)
Come on and just say yes
You know it’s time to keep it simple
Let’s take a chance and hope for the best

Life is short, so make it what you wanna
Make it good, don’t wait until mañana
I think I’m cool cause your name’s on this heart shaped tattoo
Now the best thing about me is you

It’s you
Now the best thing, the best thing, the best thing
About me is you
Now the best thing about me is you.

The best thing about me is you...

:: Have You Ever Been in Love ::

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart’s shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever walked on air
Ever felt like you were dreamin’
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been so in love

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it don’t let go,
I know

Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
And I ain’t looking anymore
Have you ever been so in love, have you...

Some place that you ain’t leavin’
Somewhere you’re gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin’
Have you ever felt this way

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it, don’t let go,
I know...

Coz have you ever been so in love, so in love
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn’t matter near or far
Have you ever been so in love

:: Thinking of you ::

I was staring on my cellphone and wondering what is the best words to express how I feel but I couldn't find one because you have occupied my mind all the time...all that I know is, I'm thinking of you..