It is the end of another cycle for me.
Another chapter in a book entitled “The Rejections of A simple guyl”.
Actually, it is a boring book, it is predictable and trite.
The plot is the same: There I was picking up myself from the previous wreck. Then I would be “saved” by this person, to whom I will cling so tight and give everything even the unnecessary details of my life.
For a couple of moments, everything is perfect.
Butterflies in the air, sliding on rainbows, hopping on puffy clouds.
When I’m completely out of my system, everything will shatter, climax is reached.
Denouement: denying everything took place, embracing depression, questioning my existence.
I am really hurt.
I hope I still recover.
I know I can do it but it takes time to heal.
This chapter keeps on repeating even if I wanna skip it, or I am done with it.
There is something wrong with me, I know. I cannot pass through this episode. And I am afraid that if I will go through it again and again that I will be able to memorize it. And I am afraid of not feeling anymore.
Anymore emotions, even love.
Rejection never fails to haunt me, after all, what would I expect..
I don’t want rejection anymore. All I need in this world is to be loved and love in return.
But here is a secret.
Rejection is my twin brother, he is so kind to me he would never leave me. The sad part is, we are Siamese.
I can never hurt him, I am so used to him getting the best of me. After all, we share the same heart, and mind.
But it is getting unhealthy, I can feel it. He is turning into a parasite, sucking every inch of my sanity, every beat of my weak heart.
I can not self mutilate, even if I wanted so bad, but I believe someone can. Someone who will have the courage to slice the flesh that connects as. Even if only half will be left of me, I still have a piece of my heart that I can offer.
If only I can be accepted as a twin of an evil one.
Another chapter in a book entitled “The Rejections of A simple guyl”.
Actually, it is a boring book, it is predictable and trite.
The plot is the same: There I was picking up myself from the previous wreck. Then I would be “saved” by this person, to whom I will cling so tight and give everything even the unnecessary details of my life.
For a couple of moments, everything is perfect.
Butterflies in the air, sliding on rainbows, hopping on puffy clouds.
When I’m completely out of my system, everything will shatter, climax is reached.
Denouement: denying everything took place, embracing depression, questioning my existence.
I am really hurt.
I hope I still recover.
I know I can do it but it takes time to heal.
This chapter keeps on repeating even if I wanna skip it, or I am done with it.
There is something wrong with me, I know. I cannot pass through this episode. And I am afraid that if I will go through it again and again that I will be able to memorize it. And I am afraid of not feeling anymore.
Anymore emotions, even love.
Rejection never fails to haunt me, after all, what would I expect..
I don’t want rejection anymore. All I need in this world is to be loved and love in return.
But here is a secret.
Rejection is my twin brother, he is so kind to me he would never leave me. The sad part is, we are Siamese.
I can never hurt him, I am so used to him getting the best of me. After all, we share the same heart, and mind.
But it is getting unhealthy, I can feel it. He is turning into a parasite, sucking every inch of my sanity, every beat of my weak heart.
I can not self mutilate, even if I wanted so bad, but I believe someone can. Someone who will have the courage to slice the flesh that connects as. Even if only half will be left of me, I still have a piece of my heart that I can offer.
If only I can be accepted as a twin of an evil one.
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